Actions, Reactions, and Being Better
by Roseanna M. White
One of the reasons I love writing historicals is to show that
the heart of humanity has never changed. No matter whether you're talking about
ancient Egyptians or modern Americans or anything in between, there are a few
things that we will always seek--our dreams, our goals, our pleasures, family,
love, escape from the things we fear.
But we think we've changed. Evolved. Graduated
out of certain things. I wonder though. I wonder if we have.
This has been quite a year so far, hasn't it? Gun violence,
sexual impropriety, you name it. We've had the #metoo movement, new scandal in
the Catholic church, and the Christian publishing industry is rumbling with
harassment charges and other improprieties brought to the fore as well.
And my heart hurts. Not just for the women who have suffered
(though of course, I ache for them). Not just for the men who may have been
accused unjustly but will not be given an "innocent until proven
guilty" look from anyone again. Not just for the victims and families
ripped apart by violence. Not even just for the church that keeps taking a
pounding.
I ache for humanity, who has still not learned that
it's not enough to react.
I've been chewing on these thoughts for weeks, months, and I'm
still not sure I can adequately put them into words, but I want to try. I want
to try so that you can add your words and thoughts, and others can add theirs,
and maybe at some point, someone will hit upon something that will actually
allow for change.
At any rate, here is what I keep coming back to:
Reacting isn't enough.
Treating the symptoms isn't enough.
As long as this is all we do, we're going to keep on doing it
forever, because nothing is ever going to change.
It isn't enough to tell men, "You hurt me." It isn't
enough for others to say, "Now you'll be punished." We have to first
teach people what is sacred, to have respect. We have to change the heart--not
just the actions. Both are required to achieve real change in society--teaching
first, enforcement second.
The idea of "sexual freedom" has led us so quickly to
this, and I will never believe anyone who tells me otherwise. A generation of
women has systematically broadcast the message that sex isn't something sacred,
their bodies aren't something to be respected, and since it's just fun,
why not indulge whenever you want? On their terms, of course. Only ever on
their terms.
But when something is offered more or less freely--free of
consequences, free of entanglements, free of stigma, free of judgment--it's
only one short step down to thinking it's something you don't even have to ask
for, right?
And from a society that thinks sex is something to be enjoyed
whenever they please, it's only one short step down from thinking it's
something they have a right to take whenever they please. And
from there, one more step down to thinking they should take it
whenever they please, from whomever they please. Should they,
do they? No. But that's the message the people of this age have received.
Why?
Why?
Because that's what they've been taught. We've gone from
tolerating to accepting to applauding sexual promiscuity in both men and women.
We fantasize about it and champion it. And then we're outraged when it's abused
and misused.
Yes, the abuse and misuse is terrible. I hate
it. But just reacting with outrage will NEVER
change it.
Let's turn for a second to the church. You know what was in the
headlines the week before 9/11? Sexual scandal in the Catholic church. And that
certainly wasn't the first time it hit the news. This has obviously been around
for a long, loooooong time. Why? Because instead of being dealt with, the
accused priests are just moved somewhere else, and the hierarchy accuses the
media of sensationalizing and attacking. There are people who have admitted
they became priests SO THAT they could prey on people with no consequences,
knowing if they were caught and accused, they'd simply be moved elsewhere. I'm
sure those cases are few. But the fact that they exist at all points to a major
flaw in the system that the church doesn't seem inclined to correct.
So how do we fix it? That's the question, right? How to teach
people to respect each other? How do we teach people that some things are
sacred? How to make them actually change?
This seemed like a really hard question to answer until I
read Love Does and Everybody Always by Bob Goff. He
presented an answer to this very question that is both ridiculously simple and
ridiculously hard. LOVE THEM.
At the end of his second book, Mr. Goff talks about witchdoctors
in Uganda. These are people who have been hated and feared since the dawn of
time. So feared that even the justice system never dared to arrest and accuse
and try them. Until finally they did, and justice finally began to move.
But that wasn't enough. Because it only reacted to
the problem. It treated the symptoms. It didn't cure the disease. So they
started educating the witchdoctors. They started loving them. They started
telling them that God loved them too. And you know what? Now the people who
were once sacrificing children, are saving them.
This is the power of love. This is how real change is made.
We teach people to respect life, to respect each other,
to love each other. We show them the better way--and we punish
those who abuse it. Quickly and effectively. We demand of each other that we
Be. Better.
I joked to my best friend that instead of just #MeToo, we needed
the hashtag #StopBeingASchmuck or maybe #BeBetter. The first was just me being
silly, but the second has some truth in it. It isn't easy to be better. But if
it's something we desire, it's achievable. First, though, we have to inspire
that desire.
Let's love each other. Let's love the monsters as well as the
victims because it's those who deserve it least who end up valuing it
most. Those forgiven much will love much. Let's teach
each other that love comes first, and that where there is love, there is
respect. There is sanctity. And where there is love, respect, and sanctity,
there is the Good.
We can't just keep reacting. We have to #BeBetter.
A Note from Roseanna
Wondering if I've ever dealt with issues of sexual abuse or
misuse of power in my books? Here are a few of my stories that have heroines
who have been forced into such situations and experience the healing power of a
God who is love and the people who choose to embody Him.
In A Stray Drop of Blood, Abigail is a slave forced to the bed of her master. She doesn't speak up because she doesn't think she has a voice, and she fears the consequences if she does. But Abigail learns that even in her darkest hour, her God really does hear even her. Purchase a signed copy HERE.
In Jewel of Persia, Kasia finds herself a member of a harem--one of many women not just in her husband's past, but in his present. How can she love a man who doesn't value the sacred union like she does? Purchase a signed copy HERE.
In The Reluctant Duchess, Rowena suffers what today would be classified as date rape. And her father's answer is to try to make her marry the man who attacked her. She ends up accepting the help of another man--a kind, Godly man--but learning to trust him is no easy task. Purchase a signed copy HERE.
About Roseanna M. White
Roseanna M. White is a
bestselling, Christy Award nominated author who has long claimed that
words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, she’s homeschooling
her two kids, editing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will
clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that
span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always
seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is
blessedly ordinary. You can learn more about her and her stories at www.RoseannaMWhite.com.
Be sure to check out the original article here.
About Roseanna's latest release, An Hour Unspent
With Danger Creeping Ever Closer,
Do Their Dreams Still Matter?
Once London’s top thief, Barclay Pearce has turned his back
on his life of crime and now uses his skills for a nation at war. But not until
he rescues a clockmaker’s daughter from a mugging does he begin to wonder what
his future might hold.
Evelina Manning has constantly fought for independence but
she certainly never meant for it to inspire her fiancé to end the engagement
and enlist in the army. When the intriguing man who saved her returns to the
Manning residence to study clockwork repair with her father, she can’t help
being interested. But she soon learns that nothing with Barclay Pearce is as
simple as it seems.
As 1915 England plunges ever deeper into war, the work of an
ingenious clockmaker may give England an unbeatable military edge—and Germany
realizes it as well. Evelina’s father soon finds his whole family in danger—and
it may just take a reformed thief to steal the time they need to escape it.
What books do you like that deal with tough topics?
Which of Roseanna White's books is your favorite and why?
How do you show your love for your fellow humans?
November's reading challenge celebrates Family Ties.
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